People. Punctuation. And things that are green.

I know it's not Christmas anymore . . .

2011-02-02T22:03:00.003-05:00

But look at that face!!

Addict

2011-02-01T18:17:00.003-05:00

Steven and I recently made the decision to give up sugar (as much as we can). The sweets seem to take over our lives and our self-control, so giving it up is something we've both been really, really, really wanting to do. We used to talk about it a lot, and we've even tried several times before (halfheartedly).

But this time is supposed to be different. It's supposed to be fer real. (That's what I told Steven, "Let's give it up fer real.") And I'd love to say I've done well so far, but I have to confess . . . I've been cheating. Isn't that so bad of me? I had no idea I was such a weak person when it came to stuff like this.

So I'm admitting my problem. "My name is Luci and I'm a sugar addict", and all that. I'm telling myself that today's secret chocolates were my last, and that's it. In order to be a healthier person, I'm going to try and evaluate all my reasons for turning to sugar and sweets, and maybe answer the real need instead of using the substitute. I know that sounds heavy, but I think this is a serious issue for me. I'm certain right now---in this moment---that I am capable of taking control, but I know tomorrow (and even tonight) will be hard. Wish me luck!

Powering up

2011-01-22T02:19:00.003-05:00

Check out our superhero-in-training.

Brandon does this sometimes when he's really excited. And sometimes when he's really mad. And sometimes I don't know which, honestly. Intense, though. Definitely.

"In the midde"-ing

2011-01-03T01:39:00.004-05:00

It was 2:45am. My two men were sleeping like angels. I'd just finished pumping and was standing at the sink washing a few bottles before crawling into bed myself, when I turned around and saw this:

our bouncy swing in the pantry holding a used washcloth and a shopping bag (folded neatly, of course).

And as I went to move the shopping bag (it doesn't belong on a baby swing, after all---but then again, a baby swing doesn't belong in the pantry, does it?), I smiled. I realized this is my life, and I am happy.

I used to think (and sometimes do still think) that things need to be tidy and finished. All the laundry folded, all the drawers closed, every book in its place on the shelf. I honestly get a little thrill seeing pretty things new and clean and neat---before they're opened, even. Before they're used. (If a new box of crayons makes you happy, you know what I mean.)

But I haven't been able to reconcile that idea with the way I actually live my life. Because right now ALL the drawers of my dresser are currently open (and one's broken, to tell the truth---the front got yanked off so now I can't open or close it. I just have to reach in and search around for socks) . . . and there's a baby swing in my pantry that's apparently also doubling as a bag holder. I can't put things away fast enough before there are other things out and about all over the house. A dirty dish always spoils the clean dishwasher I just emptied. And I never make the bed.

I think what I've come to realize is life is not meant to be finished. It's never "over". I will always be in the middle of something. Always. As soon as I finish a load of laundry there are (inevitably) two or three outfits of Buddy's sitting in the bathroom sink because he's spit up or pooped or whatever. The toys get pulled out. The soap gets used up and we need to buy more. The milk is half gone and new bottles are dirty. All these things are cyclical in purpose and meant to be in use. Not on display or packed up in a box. Used. We are, after all, in the middle of living.

I used to think my life of being in the middle, in use, and unfinished was me falling short of the ideal. Other people's houses are so clean and neat it looks as if nobody lives in them. (How do they do that?) But seeing that shopping bag-holding baby swing in the pantry helped me see that I'm happy this way. It's what's going on. And I think it's right. Even in my development as a person I'm always a work in progress. Especially in my development as a person I'm never finished. Life isn't what we do after everything is put away, and I don't need to wait to share myself with others until every aspect of my personality is perfect.

(I'm even going to stop editing right now and click "publish". If I waited until every phrase and punctuation mark were exactly how I wanted them you'd never see this.)

Jumping Jack

2010-12-29T22:58:00.004-05:00

Our favorite family past-time these days is watching Brandon in the bouncy swing.

Thanks to the Mills for lending it to us!

The latest

2010-11-22T04:05:00.001-05:00

Naptime in the bathroom

2010-11-22T03:16:00.006-05:00

My son is an excellent night-time sleeper. He goes down around the same time every night---usually without much of a fuss---and he'll sleep for 8-9 hours, wake up to eat, and then go right back to sleep for another 2-3 hours.

I know. What a good boy.

Naps during the day, though, are another matter entirely. If that man isn't tired he will not sleep. He's good to let me know when he does need the nap, and if he is tired, he'll fall asleep anywhere: the grocery store, the park, a live jazz concert (true story). But sometimes a whole day goes by with only an hour nap here, a 20 minute nap there. He's super happy and interactive these days, which makes it fun to play, but the no-nap / short-nap thing can often interfere with my getting things done. So when he does choose sleep, you bet I try my best to let him stay asleep. Buying what time I can.

The other day Brandon fell asleep in the swing while I showered, so I totally left him in there. I only got an hour out of it, but still. :)

Currently reading: Fox in Socks

2010-11-13T01:30:00.007-05:00

by Dr. Seuss

My little man loves that book. It always gets him to coo and smile.

(To put this in context and give you an idea of what our life is like now, I have to tell you that he spit up all over the bed right after this video. Sigh. The highs and lows of parenting . . .)

Too handsome for words!

2010-08-22T18:09:00.001-04:00

My little man

2010-08-22T01:05:00.003-04:00

Brandon Alexander
born August 5, 2010
8 lbs 3 oz

Currently reading: Daddy-Long-Legs

2010-05-24T00:09:00.003-04:00

by Jean Webster

K. If I used words like "charming" and "delightful", I would definitely use them about this book. Seriously. Read this excerpt from orphan Jerusha Abbott's first letter to her anonymous benefactor (a rich man who's committed to send her to college), and tell me you don't love it:

"Before leaving yesterday morning, Mrs. Lippett and I had a very serious talk. She told me how to behave all the rest of my life, and especially how to behave towards the kind gentleman who is doing so much for me. I must take care to be Very Respectful.

"But how can one be very respectful to a person who wishes to be called John Smith? Why couldn't you have picked out a name with a little personality? I might as well write letters to Dear Hitching-Post or Dear Clothes-Prop.

"I have been thinking about you a great deal this summer; having somebody take an interest in me after all these years makes me feel as though I had found a sort of family. It seems as though I belonged to somebody now, and it's a very comfortable sensation. I must say, however, that when I think about you, my imagination has very little to work upon. There are just three things that I know:

I. You are tall.
II. You are rich.
III. You hate girls."

Love. It.

I'm in Maryland and it is humid

2010-05-24T00:07:00.000-04:00

That's all. :)

California's coast

2010-04-14T21:04:00.009-04:00

Pictures from our recent road trip to Monterey and San Diego.
Yay for Spring Break!

Nesting

2010-04-14T20:41:00.007-04:00

(All generously donated by my sister. Thanks!)

Obviously, we don't need the changing table set up yet--diapers at the ready.
But it makes me feel better.

And I'm thinking this week is crib-shopping week. Stay tuned.

Lots of rain these days . . .

2010-04-12T21:35:00.005-04:00

But look what came with it!

All boy

2010-03-22T22:32:00.007-04:00

You can already tell this little guy's going to be CUTE, huh? :)

(I won't post the picture that proves he's a boy--that'd be indecent--but let's just say it was pretty obvious and he's not at all shy.)

Well. It rained.

2010-03-01T19:56:00.007-05:00

But we still took our road trip! We just tweaked it a little. :)

We drove down to the Jelly Belly factory for a tour and treats! Perfect for a rainy day.

Me and Steven. Happy with our hats and complimentary jelly beans.

Yes. The address really is 1 Jelly Belly Lane.
(And the sun did come out after our tour.)

Our friend Elsa and her adorable children.

Spring fever

2010-02-25T18:28:00.004-05:00

Zooming home on I-80 (bless whoever came up with the 65mph speed limit for California roads), listening to Arcade Fire turned way up with the windows way down, sunshine warming up my skin, I started to think:

Road. Trip.

Seriously. The sun comes out (February here, instead of April---maybe May---back home in the East), and I itch to drive away somewhere.

Steven doesn't work tomorrow . . . hmmm. Where to go?

Currently reading: What to Expect When You're Expecting

2010-02-21T21:53:00.004-05:00

by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel

Because, well . . . we're expecting. :)

Flowers from Steven

2010-02-18T20:42:00.008-05:00

Just because. :)

Where we used to live

2010-01-19T17:35:00.004-05:00

Over Thanksgiving my brother Scot came to visit and we took a trip down to the Bay Area where we lived when we were little. Neither of us had been back since moving to the East Coast, and it felt kind of weird, actually. Everything was how I remembered it . . . but smaller.

And the awesome part of this story is that we forgot BOTH our cameras (only to remember them once we were an hour out of town) and had to buy a cheap one-use film gadget. So the pictures aren't super. But they're better than I was expecting.

Walking along the path we used to take to school every day.

Remembering PE exercises on the school playground.

Half Moon Bay, the beach where we spent a lot of time in the summers.

My brother at the Oakland temple.

Let's face it -- bribery works

2010-01-19T17:26:00.005-05:00

Usually, I can convince myself to do difficult, unpleasant, or out-of-my-comfort-zone things by thinking about the benefits and reminding myself why a particular task is important.

Other times, however, I need a tastier incentive.

If you do this today, I told myself, you can have chocolate milk. Seriously.

Oh, and I deserve it. Because I was so brave.

My new favorite art material

2009-11-16T22:24:00.006-05:00

Some parts of California DO have seasons

2009-11-11T20:02:00.008-05:00

And luckily our part is one of those. Around October / November the air gets crisper, the days get shorter, and look! the leaves change color.

(I'm not a snob, right? For being surprised?)

There aren't enough leaves to make 24 bags-full . . . every weekend. (Huh, Mom?) But they do crunch when I walk down the sidewalk. And the colors are warm and friendly.

Currently reading: An Introduction to Language

2009-11-06T14:58:00.011-05:00

by Fromkin, Rodman, and Hyams

Because I don't want to forget everything I learned in college.

Plus, President Uchtdorf said, "If formal education is not available for you, do not allow that to prevent you from acquiring all the knowledge you can. Under such circumstances, the best books, in a sense, can be your 'university' — a classroom that is always open and admits all who apply."
(October conference)

Totally ready for Halloween

2009-10-22T15:33:00.004-04:00

But I want to ask this: Is Halloween ready for ME?

'Cause this costume rocks.

Freaky Friday

2009-10-16T14:45:00.008-04:00

A few weeks ago, faced with a Friday night and nothing to do, Steven and I combatted the ordinary and got creative. (What else can you do with Sculpey clay lying around and a serious lack of Halloween decorations?)

Steven's gorgeous pumpkin and creepy skull are more realistic (talented friend, huh?) . . .

while I just went for cartoony: witch's hat and Frankenstein (the eyebrows are my favorite).

Currently reading: Gilead

2009-09-24T21:13:00.004-04:00

by Marilynne Robinson

Though I guess "current" isn't the word, since I just finished last night. That makes four times in all (three on my own and one out loud to Steven), but it's still one of the most beautiful books I've ever encountered. The writing is gorgeous all by itself, and the STORY . . . the story is unbelievably tender and sincere.

John Ames, a preacher in the middle of nowhere Kansas, approaches the end of his life and decides to write a letter to his young son. Intending for the letter to be read after his son is grown, John Ames takes on the tone of one man speaking to another, individual-to-individual, as the equals they actually are. There are a lot of things I love about the book, but that's what struck me this last time. Because I think it's a lovely idea. To see and know a parent as a person. As an individual not unlike our own self--in weakness, needs, aspirations, joys, and reflections. I'm only beginning to see my own parents this way, and I lament how my (future) children will fail to understand me for a long time yet. I suppose it's a necessary cycle, not without its own beauty, but in a lot of ways it's sad.

Anyway. You should definitely read the book. John Ames' voice comes through in every page, sharing childhood experiences, history of the town and America, and his years-long lessons about love, faith, the physical world, and grace.

Favorite passages:

"I'd never have believed I'd see a wife of mine doting on a child of mine. It still amazes me every time I think of it. I'm writing this in part to tell you that if you ever wonder what you've done in your life, and everyone does wonder sooner or later, you have been God's grace to me, a miracle, something more than a miracle. You may not remember me very well at all, and it may seem to you to be no great thing to have been the good child of an old man in a shabby little town you will no doubt leave behind. If only I had the words to tell you."

"I wish you could have known my grandfather. I heard a man say once it seemed the one eye he had was somehow ten times an eye. Normally speaking, it seems to me, a gaze, even a stare, is diffused a little when there are two eyes involved. He could make me feel as though he had poked me with a stick, just by looking at me. Not that he meant any harm to speak of. He was just afire with old certainties, and he couldn't bear all the patience that was required of him by the peace and by the aging of his body and by the forgetfulness that had settled over everything. He thought we should all be living at a dead run. I don't say he was wrong. That would be like contradicting John the Baptist."

"In every important way we are such secrets from each other, and I do believe that there is a separate language in each of us, also a separate aesthetics and a separate jurisprudence. Every single one of us is a little civilization built on the ruins of any number of preceding civilizations, but with our own variant notions of what is beautiful and what is acceptable--which, I hasten to add, we generally do not satisfy and by which we struggle to live. We take fortuitous resemblances among us to be actual likeness, because those around us have also fallen heir to the same customs, trade in the same coin, acknowledge, more or less, the same notions of decency and sanity. But all that really just allows us to coexist with the inviolable, untraversable, and utterly vast spaces between us."

Autumn apples (and the internet is amazing)

2009-09-21T14:32:00.003-04:00

You can find an online recipe for anything--ANYthing. So far Steven and I have successfully made blueberry jam, pumpkin cookies, rosemary bread (that tastes a lot like Macaroni Grill's), banana bread, whole wheat waffles, smoothies, and apple sauce (thanks, Jodie, for the apples!). I even found a recipe for gelato (which I would try, but it requires some fancy equipment).

Honestly, I don't know what people did before the internet.

Ode to the East: Niagara Falls

2009-09-18T14:37:00.005-04:00

Definitely something we had to see before leaving. (I'd been once before, but I appreciate things so much differently now from when I was a child.) And it turned out to be an awesome trip. The weather was great, I don't remember getting lost, and the views are totally worth it.

Gorgeous.

We did the whole "Cave of the Winds" adventure and loved it.

And we strolled over to Canada to check out their view
(which is better in a lot of ways).

But America made us pay 50 cents each to come back!

Bogus, if you ask me.

They weren't kidding about BIG.

2009-09-10T13:22:00.011-04:00

Agassiz -- biggest tree in the park (243 feet tall; 25 feet wide)

For Labor Day, Steven and I took a trip over to Calaveras Big Trees State Park. Kind of an obvious name for a forest with Redwoods, but if you've ever seen them you'll understand. They really are just that big. Big and ancient and mind-boggling.

Pictures honestly don't do them justice, but we took a few anyway.

Exposed roots from a fallen tree.
(I can't imagine being there when one of these things crashed down.)

Steven and the Kansas group.

A number of the trees have been hollowed out by fire. (These two are named Mother and Son.)
I think you could literally live in them--if it came to that.

Anyone want to plan a visit? ;)

The redwoods, once seen, leave a mark or create a vision that stays with you always . . .
They are not like any trees we know. They are ambassadors from another time.
----John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley

It's never too early

2009-09-03T13:15:00.007-04:00

Never too early.

To start planning Halloween costumes. (2008--Steven as Mario; me as Jem.)

Home-made costumes are best--half the fun of dressing up--and last year we were brilliant.

Steven sewed himself gloves from a pair of old socks, and I constructed my wig using crepe paper, bobby pins, and the shredder. Double brilliant.

This year Steven's going to recycle his Mario costume (it's just that good) and I'm going to complete the pair as Princess Peach. Now if we could just find an awesome party to go to . . .

Let's get crafty!

2009-08-29T17:10:00.003-04:00

This cross-stitch was one of my more ambitious projects in high school and I've been holding on to it ever since. Packing it up to move (in its shamefully still-unfinished state) seemed pretty ridiculous, so I guess I finally found the motivation I needed. Turned out pretty nice if I do say so myself. (But I don't think I'll start another one any time soon.)

In other craft news: Every newly-married woman I know is pregnant. Seriously. I've been invited to two different baby showers on the same day, for crying out loud.

So I'm making baby booties.

I guess I don't really know if they work out--for the baby's feet and all--having never seen them on a baby in person (only in pictures). But c'mon. You admit they're adorable. Plus they're a fast project. That sense of accomplishment comes quick and easy. Instead of eight years later . . .

(Found the pattern here.)

Call me Meg White

2009-08-28T18:11:00.010-04:00

Because that is me on the drums.

Like the poor man's drum pads? Towels and jeans and yarn, my friend. Why buy what your resourceful husband can make? The whole set-up (including pillows stuffed inside) mutes it pretty good. I mean we try to be considerate of the neighbors. I even make sure to do most of my practicing during the day when I know the woman downstairs is at work. And yes--that is a cow bell. Because when you've got a disease . . .

Look for tour dates soon.

Songs to help me cry

2009-08-20T14:26:00.005-04:00

Autumn's Here -- Hawksley Workman

The Winter Song -- Eisley

Guess I'm Doin' Fine -- Beck

More than making me sad, these songs help me realize I'm sad. I become aware of feelings I've been ignoring or trying to bury--and I let go of some of that tightness, that weight. I mean, do you ever feel like you need a good cry? But somehow it feels better to have a reason? To give yourself something tangible and concrete to cry to? If I'm holding my emotions in, sometimes I realize it listening to these songs. The sadness in the music helps me to feel my own sadness. Feel it, explore it, and then--eventually--understand it.

My first real backpacking trip: Tahoe Rim Trail

2009-08-15T21:00:00.008-04:00

Want to know how I know it was a real backpacking trip?

We took a shovel. That's how you know. (Oh, and ladies, here's a tip: Freshette. Look it up.)

Steven's been wanting to take me ever since we got married, but (big surprise) the East Coast weather never seemed to cooperate. This year's Spring Break was too cold, and the early summer brought nothing but rain. So, to California's wilderness we came.

Now, I have camped before. But this was different. We purified water, carried all our equipment on our backs, and hunted small game with bows and arrows. Haha. Just kidding about the hunting. Our menu actually consisted of granola bars, fruit snacks, and Lipton noodle packets. I don't remember ever feeling so satisfied by a dish of pasta as I was on those two nights.

We had a lot of fun. Hiking up and down the trail, musing about how those tall mountains came into being, wondering if we'd have made it out on the frontier, hopping across rivers, watching bats and birds and what we think was a coyote, eating by firelight, watching for falling stars in a meteor shower (I'd never seen so many stars in my life), examining interesting plants, breathing the cool mountain air, and generally squeezing as much out of the experience as we could. Living in the woods for three days gave me just the break I was looking for. (It also changed my standard of cleanliness. I honestly didn't realize how covered in dirt and dust I was until we came home and I got a good look at myself under the bright indoor lights. I'd thought that dark tint to my legs was a tan. Ha!)

I'd do it again. In fact, I plan to go back often. Being out in nature for an extended amount of time (not just a few hours here and there) really is amazing. It's so peaceful and the air is so clean. Everything's unhurried and everywhere there's beauty.

Enjoy the pictures.

Officially Californian

2009-08-10T21:50:00.004-04:00

With two new sets of California plates and our pictures on driver's licenses from the Golden State I guess we really do live here now, huh? We even voted in a local election. Crazy.

Though it feels a little fake to me. Like we're still just visitors and everyone around us can tell (despite the plates and ID). I'll let you know if they reject our ballots . . .

Folsom Lake

2009-08-07T18:47:00.006-04:00

For a little sunshine, swimming, and photography practice.

I am in love

2009-07-22T16:11:00.005-04:00

with my Stir Crazy popcorn popper.

That thing is amazing and it makes the popcorn taste oh so good. We packed it away for the month we stayed with my parents and obviously didn't have it out on the road.

Stir Crazy, I've missed you.

Last night I sprinkled on some of the Old Bay seasoning my mom sent me ("they might not have that in California," she said), and it was delicious. The suggestion was right there on the label.
Hot dog.

There are 3,000 miles between here and Maryland

2009-07-16T22:19:00.011-04:00

and I drove every one of them. Booo-yah! ;)

I feel no shame at my pride, either. I'd made the trek across country by car many times before, but never as the principle driver. Never even as a contributing-sharing-the-burden driver. So this was a major undertaking for me. I worried. I stressed. I'd think about the upcoming trip in a quiet panic. Don't get me wrong, I did look forward to it as a great adventure, but I honestly wasn't sure I'd make it. At least not without a bit of ungraceful whining and a few "I am so tired" stops.

We did have to make more frequent bathroom stops than I would've liked (don't you agree that some things in life seem like such a great waste of time?), but on the whole I did pretty well. If I do say so myself. (And Steven says so too.) He was ahead of me in the Budget truck the whole time, which was honestly a great comfort. Walkie talkies kept us in good contact, but there were also long stretches during the day (or night depending on how late we got started . . .) to just drive, to think, to exist. I enjoyed it much more than I'd hoped--despite the underlying stress.

The longest (and by far the worst) day of driving was from Nauvoo, IL to Big Springs, NE. What a forlorn stretch of land! And the wind was unbelievable; it made my stomach queasy getting pushed around like that. There'd have to be rain, too, right? Torrential buckets of it. And nothing to see for miles and miles but flat, empty space. In the dark it was terrible. Not an experience I'd like to repeat. Nevada's pretty wide and open, too, but the area we went through was beautiful. Mountains and rocks and cows and clouds. My view that day:
Driving across the country is probably something everyone should do at least once. I feel like a real person now. Like now I'm a grown-up. Because I drove.

Highlights from the trip:

Nauvoo temple

While taking pictures at the temple I got mud on my shorts, but luckily we had a sheet and some safety pins in the car. Voila!

Me on a horse! (Visiting with Steven's parents and family.)

Steven on the salt flats.
(Yes we did pull over to the side of the highway. Don't judge.)

And one of our first home-cooked meals in the new place!
We're finally settled now and will accept visitors any time. :)

Dear Luci

2009-07-16T22:12:00.002-04:00

Please do not sit in the hot California sun for over an hour and a half with no sunscreen.
Take the lesson to heart this time.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
Your wiser sunburned self

Yes, yes, and YES.

2009-07-09T16:26:00.005-04:00

Because I'm sure you're all wondering: Did we actually make it to California? ARE we alive? and Is the weather really that awesome??

Yes. Warm and happy sunshine every day with cooling temperatures in the evening/ at night. I think we've found our heaven. :)

And we're even starting to feel a bit settled. The internet has finally come back to us (as evidenced by this post--how did people live before the internet?), and most of our boxes are mostly unpacked. We have the essentials at least: bedroom, bathroom, kitchen. For a while our lives were a bit taken over and it took nimble toes to get anywhere without tripping:

As a treat to ourselves after the move-in we went to what Steven calls the most magical kingdom on earth: Big Spoon.

And this place is amazing. Maybe it's all over California, but the concept is totally new to us. First, you walk to the back and choose your bowl size. Then you serve yourself how ever much frozen yogurt of how ever many kinds you want. And THEN (this is Steven's favorite part) you walk around the store and add all the toppings your heart could possibly desire, choosing from their wide and varied selection. It's all up to you, and you never even interact with the employees except when they weigh it at the end and tell you to have a great day.

This last time I chose a delicious orange sherbet and strawberry yogurt with white chocolate chips and a little bit of cookie crumbs on top. Steven's creations are almost always half toppings.

The only problem is that it's right across the street from our new apartment and we're fer sure tempted to stop in more often than we should. I'm proud of us for only going once so far. But it's there . . . calling to us . . .

I bring you . . .

2009-06-19T00:25:00.003-04:00

The List of Lists!!

(complete with accessories)

Junk? or treasures?

2009-06-16T00:26:00.010-04:00

My parents have generously let me keep stuff in their attic for lots of years, but now that I'm moving far away with my husband, it's probably time to take some of it off their hands. Going through it all, my one question has been Do I want to haul this across the country? And in most cases, the answer is well, no, not really . . . but I'll probably take it anyway. It's just so familiar. And of course there are a few gems:

Some of my fragile and small things. I swear I haven't seen these since I packed up and left for college. Brought back tons of memories.

My rock collection. My dad used to bring us a different rock any time he went out of town. And I'm sure he probably got these from some airport store, but we'd get so excited each time to see what he brought us. It was always really fun. I think I even used to show off my collection to friends as something super special. I can't remember whether they were impressed. But I still like them.

My first bank. And the 2 two-dollar bills my dad thought I was trying to spend once. But they'd really just gotten pushed over into the Spending section from the Savings section, and I hadn't realized it until he saw them. I hadn't meant for them to do that.
I don't remember if I had all the words to explain that to him at the time. But I felt bad about it.

Some fantastic drawings I made when I was little.
(These are all on the backs of coupons we got in the mail.)

A huge collection of letters, cards, and notes--some from as long ago as first grade. And my mom sent me something in the mail every week while I was away at college. Isn't that amazing? What a good mom.
I ambitiously set out to sort through these--to only keep a sampling--but after reading two or three I decided to go ahead and move them all out west . . . to go through later . . .

Pants progress

2009-06-15T16:05:00.000-04:00

So long, Suzuki

2009-06-13T22:56:00.003-04:00

We can't really take her across the country with us, so we're donating the Suzuki next week.

I feel so many things about that car, it's hard to put into words. Steven's had her for 8 years, and his sister 5 years before she gave it to him. She's been good to us, that Suzuki, and she's so familiar. I learned how to drive stick on that car, and the Suzuki will always remind me of my early relationship with Steven. The huge secret crush I had and how my stomach did nervous jumps whenever I saw that little red Suzuki parked at the Institute, going on our first dates, and later (during our engagement) accidentally squealing the tires leaving Steven's house laaaaate at night. There's even a story about the Suzuki's narrow escape from engulfing flames at 3am one morning. (Not at Steven's. Safely parked in front of my parents' house.)

I'm going to miss the Suzuki. Fer real.

Things not to forget:

The glove box full of tapes because she doesn't have a CD player. (She also doesn't have air conditioning.)

The MST3K sticker I gave Steven back when
we were first friends.

The watermelon-scented air freshener (which replaced Steven's bag of potpourri shaped like a shoe--??) . . . the slow Suzuki start-up that lets EVERYONE pass you after a stop light . . . the time Steven locked his keys in the car while it was still running . . . driving to Philly . . .

Sigh. So long, girl. Happy dreams . . .

Late afternoon thunderstorms

2009-06-13T00:29:00.009-04:00

make for great gutter boat races.

Getting started . . .

Real live action caught on tape:

Marissa and Steven celebrated their successful voyages . . . while I bemoaned the poor craftsmanship that prevented my boat from going any real distance.

But it was still awesome. I'd recommend it to anyone.

Strawberry Fields

2009-06-01T00:58:00.003-04:00

Beautiful afternoon at Homestead Farm with Miranda.

Other pants

2009-05-25T01:15:00.001-04:00

Steven and I make lots of lists. A list of movies to Netflix, grocery lists, wish lists, a list of places to go / things to do, a list of songs I can play on the bass (this is a small one, but I'm working on it!), a list of things to look up and learn about, book lists, bucket lists, etc, etc, etc.

Deciding that we need a central place to keep all said lists was an obvious conclusion. Deciding to create a master List of Lists made from jean pockets was genius. (Steven's idea.)

This project has been on hold for some time (huh, Steven?), but now that I'm not working, it's finally in motion. So far we've collected piles of jeans
(thanks to many donations from willing friends), and have started the cutting / seam ripping process. Please stay tuned . . .

F is for fancy and P is for pants.

2009-05-24T00:43:00.009-04:00

Kind of in honor of our anniversary and kind of just because we've been wanting to, Steven and I made the bold move to purchase some fancy camera equipment of our own. So far we've just played around (Steven took this one of the flowers) and tried to familiarize ourselves with the different features and what they mean. But already I love it. I especially love how I can now capture details. The details that make up a person. Or a setting. Or an experience. I've decided that life is found in the small things; and so, also, is joy. And now we have a camera that can help record and express that. I love it.

Recent good reads

2009-05-21T15:28:00.009-04:00

I found all of these on my mom's bookshelves.

Stardust by Neil Gaiman (good story)
Goose Girl by Shannon Hale (for the little girl in me)
Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons (hilarious)
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows (gorgeous)

And Steven's current choice for our out loud reading is 1984 by George Orwell. That book is intense.

What have you read lately that's worth sharing?

A whole year? No way.

2009-05-18T16:20:00.018-04:00

The story of how my husband and I got together is loooooong and complicated, and I sometimes marvel that it ever actually happened. I remember feeling absolute joy when Steven and I were finally dating, and I'll be thankful forever to our friend Kenisha for this picture (taken the same weekend we started dating):

See how nervous cute I was? I wore his watch (something I still like to do), and he made me that napkin flower. We hadn't said anything to anyone yet, and Steven kept tickling me under the table. Look at the shy flirty smile on his face.
I. adore. this picture.

And here we are, celebrating our first year of marriage. Unbelievable.

May 17th was a Sunday this year, so Saturday became our "anniversary observed". We had a delicious lunch (Italian!) followed by a rare trip to the movies to see Star Trek--which was actually pretty good. Watching The Next Generation with my dad was part of growing up, and I remember being genuinely surprised to find out (I think it was high school . . . or maybe college?) that not everyone had the same experience.

Steven gave me these gorgeous flowers (notice the paper ones he made himself):
And a new planner that's green and fits perfectly in my purse!

I got Steven two paperback books (one to replace a water-damaged copy).

And on Sunday he found this:
Cute, huh?
Honesty requires me to say I did not come up with the idea on my own--but I wasn't going to pay $15 for a roll of TP.
I just wasn't.

Oh, and here's a picture Steven took of me "reading my scriptures" last night.
I was pondering. Deeply.

Thank you, Becca Hofheins.

2009-05-11T15:55:00.026-04:00

This weekend our ward had its annual Dessert Contest / Chili Cook-off. Please note that the only food my husband and I disagree about is beans (he loves them and I do not), so chili's never really been my thing. But I can make dessert.

The first ward dessert contest I entered I didn't win--but should have. I thought my aunt's orange cake would draw some attention. But I was wrong. The same girl won the awards for both best dessert overall AND most original . . . for a chocolate cheesecake.

I don't mean to take it too seriously, but really, if you had to say which was more original, orange cake (complete with fancy cream cheese frosting and orange slices as garnish) or chocolate cheesecake, you'd know how to vote, right? Apparently these judges did not.

The second dessert contest I entered (same ward as the first) may have had skewed results--since everyone voted and knew who'd entered what--and I'll admit to some campaigning on behalf of my pie. But it was also a pretty darn good pie. Peanut Butter Chocolate. I was a little surprised to win (and even felt almost guilty), so I repented and put the gift certificate to good use (treating the sister missionaries to dinner).

I have to say my most recent attempt (in our new ward) had the best chance of any of my previous ones. Becca Hofheins (whose husband served in our student ward my first year at college) generously gave me the recipe to her Famous Chocolate Chip Bundt Cake.

And it didn't let me down.

I choose to ignore that there were only 3 other entries and (following Steven's suggestion) hereby change the recipe's name to First Place Cake.

Trophy's actual size:

Side note: I did try some chili. The winning batch, actually. It had a sweeter flavor and chunks of sausage. And few enough beans I could avoid scooping any into the ladle. Delicious.

It's official!

2009-05-06T12:43:00.003-04:00

Funds have been approved, prayers have been answered, and we're MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!!

Who IS that?

2009-05-04T13:14:00.020-04:00

Does anyone else get a little weirded out to see photos of yourself and realize that--because of mirrors--the idea YOU have of what you look like (the image you've been carrying around in your head and the one you look at every day) is totally opposite reality? Because, I'm telling you, I KNOW I part my hair on the other side . . .

There.

Maybe.

ps. Steven took this picture. Good job, friend!

Borrowed Feathers

2009-04-27T23:30:00.019-04:00

Our good friend Cristian knows I have a dabbling interest in photography and (being a photographer himself) he offered to lend me his VERY nice (read expensive) camera for the week. I protested, of course, because what if I break it? But he insisted and even gave me a few mini tutorials.

Some of my first attempts:

Cristian. Italian. Very generous. (Would YOU lend your fancy equipment to a known klutz like me?) He usually has quite a bit more hair than this, but due to a moment of distraction involving a quesadilla and hair clippers . . .

Some of my mom's nice things. (I think these ornaments are from my great grandma. Or something.)

Green china! (You know, there's green in it.) Belonged to a family friend. And since I love the green so much, my mom and sisters generously let me claim it.
(ps. Lest you think that Steven and I live in established luxury: everything else in this picture is not mine, but my mother's.)

My Steven. (Am I crazy to be so smitten?)

Everybody needs a hero

2009-04-16T11:44:00.007-04:00

And mine is Alexander Calder. I'm not kidding--he invented the mobile. Genius.

This past Saturday we stopped in at the National Gallery of Art to say hello to his stuff. (We're moving soon, so of course I had to visit the mobiles one more time . . .)

If we'd been allowed to take pictures, I'd put one of my favorites

[here]

Finny Fish

And another one

[here]

Aztec Josephine Baker

But, since I am a rule follower (on most occasions), I'll content myself in believing that you all actually will visit the website and wow your lives.

Other things of note:

Us at the museum

The Alba Madonna by Raphael

This cherub is for Katie, who's guardian angel--I'm
convinced--has a tambourine.

A good day

2009-04-14T16:13:00.008-04:00

Today's been good. Really good.

First, two of my coworkers (well, one coworker and one semi-coworker) didn't come in today. So it's been quiet time in the office for me.

Second, my husband's been offered a job in sunny sunny California!! (Pending available funds, of course, but STILL. Let's focus on the positive.)

And third, eating more vegetables really does make a difference. Iggy, my stomach (and queen of all things digestive), has thanked me.

That's right. I got the water myself.

2009-04-08T14:26:00.012-04:00

And don't anyone try to tell me that I shouldn't carry things that heavy, and we have people to do that, and did you ask someone to bring it over for you? Because it's been 5 hours since I voiced the proper request to have Shipping and Receiving send over their strapping young undergrad, and I need my water. I'm the one who drinks it; I should be the one to replace it. Besides, the water cooler jug isn't that heavy. I work out.

I say all this only because last time I replaced the water I was yelled at by the two older ladies who work in the office next-door. Something about my "child-bearing years".

But now we have water. Drink and enjoy.

Scheming

2009-04-01T14:34:00.007-04:00

I don't have any April Fool's jokes, but I do have a very good friend who would sometimes make up crazy schemes with me. Two of my favorite:

1. Borrow someone's clothes, and give them back bedazzled. Tell him/her it came out of the wash like that.

2. Use double-sided tape to stick googly eyes to people's backs. (We actually bought the supplies to do this, but for a number of reasons, it never happened. Too bad.)

I still laugh so hard when I think of these.
Maybe someday . . .

My friend is a night owl fer sure.

2009-03-24T13:37:00.011-04:00

I take naps during the day in order to stay up with him, and we often don't get to bed before 1am. It's worth it, though, because the late nights are some of my favorite times.

We . . .
-talk about all kinds of things (what we want to do, be, and have in our lives; whether we'll understand our children; why languages change over time; what good music is made of)
-do household chores (except vacuuming--last night I had to veto midnight vacuuming--for the neighbors' sakes)
-work on projects
-watch movies/documentaries
-and sometimes do other things ;)

The late nights don't mix well with my mornings, though, because we're sharing breadwinner duties at the moment, and I have to be at work WAY earlier than he does (hence the naps). Each morning after getting ready I gently wake him with kisses so we can have prayer. Sometimes he remembers it; sometimes he doesn't. Some days, in tender pity, when he's really struggling to be awake, I take his turn for him. (After all, of the two of us, I'm the only one who's ever fallen asleep while actually giving the prayer.) When he's feeling relatively more conscious, often he'll briefly look at me crooked with one eye open, smile real sweet, and tell me I look nice. I love that. He's warm and cuddly, and so early-morning cute it's hard to want to leave. So sometimes I take pictures.

Awww. Doesn't he look just like a little kid?

And sometimes he sleeps like a mummy.
Tell me that isn't hilarious.

More things that are green:

2009-03-24T11:27:00.016-04:00

Water pitcher and place mats. Both wedding presents.

Awesome button with New Hampshire's state motto.
Thanks, Jacob!

(My favorite state motto, though, is Michigan's: If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you.)

These shoes that I love to wear EVERY DAY.

(Especially when they don't match my outfit.)

Valley Forge clover.

ps. My husband and I were in Target last night and they had these gorgeous green dishes that, of course, I wanted. He said we didn't really need them . . . maybe if it were my birthday . . . But he couldn't justify buying them just because they were green. I told him I've often bought things just because they were green. (And we would need them if I went home and broke all the dishes in the cupboards . . .)

This is my friend

2009-03-23T16:52:00.006-04:00

and that's my purse.

My Activity Bag

2009-03-18T12:49:00.007-04:00

It's spring break this week, and that means no students around campus. However, "spring break" for staff only gets counted on Monday and Tuesday, so here I am at work. Don't worry, though. I came prepared with my activity bag. It includes:
-Among Friends by M.F.K. Fisher
-Imaginative Writing by Janet Burroway
-several mix CDs to download onto my iPOD
-2 audio CDs from Mais oui! (my French college textbook)
-a few errand-type assignments from my husband
-snacks (mixed nuts and m&m minis)
-1 church project
-a list of movies to watch on our Netflix "Instant Play"
-and maybe 1 or 2 work things

I also plan to take a few much-needed sunshine breaks. Seriously. It's supposed to get up to 63 today.

Hey, that's okay!

2009-03-13T13:02:00.006-04:00

At a birthday party last week my friend's roommate was getting on the internet (to show somebody something on YouTube or who knows what) and BYU's website came up as her home page. One of the kids there started to tease her about it, and she said, "Hey, that's okay! It's okay that I love BYU." And her response has really stayed with me.

As someone who spent lots of time trying to prove I was part of the crowd (and then lots more time trying to prove that I wasn't), I admire her honest and simple way of defending herself. (Seriously, it was even cute.) And I wish that had been my response more. I wish I'd learned better how to say, "Hey, that's okay! It's okay that I do this or I don't that." To go ahead and like what I liked and not let other people change me.

I try to do that now, but it's still not always so easy. Hearing her defend her home page was a small thing, sure, but it was encouraging and refreshing.

Burnt orange, I win.

2009-03-06T16:04:00.018-05:00

Have you seen these shiny, burnt orange colored cars driving around? And did you notice that they seemed to pop up out of nowhere--overnight? I had my first burnt orange sighting in 2006, and I don't think I've ever been the same. The phenomenon was so strange to me I made up a game.

Here are the rules: When you see a burnt orange colored car, be the first to say, "Burnt orange, I win!" . . . and you do. That's it. That's the whole game. But MAN is it fun.

They even have variations now: burnt red orange, burnt salmon, burnt tangerine (see below--it's different, right?). Please note that these variations do NOT win. It has to be classic burnt orange.

I'd like to take a survey, honestly, of people who've purchased these cars. I'm SO curious.
Sample questions:
1. What about this color spoke to you?
2. Did you go to the dealership with this color in mind? Or was it a spontaneous decision?
3. What do you think other people think of this color?
4. Have you always liked orange?
5. Is the glare a problem? (Seriously.)

Something extra: Another game I made up (when I was younger) is called "Hide under the blankets". I still totally remember how to play, of course, as will generations to come--they can find the instructions in my journal. Here's what you do (written in my 5th grade hand):

At family functions whenever people are looking for game suggestions I throw this one out there. But it gets turned down. Maybe Steven . . .

So I married a mathematician

2009-03-05T11:57:00.016-05:00

My husband studies math education. He's very smart. This past weekend I went with him to a conference in Raleigh, NC and I can honestly say it was interesting (the conference--not Raleigh). Three straight days of math, and I'll tell you what, my brain was full. I learned about the difference between potential infinity and actual infinity; that the equals sign has both an operative function and a relational function; and how the Toulmin model of argumentation can be applied to proofs (I did already know about the Toulmin model--fancy pants smart me). And many other mathy things.

Like I said, my brain was full.

And so was my belly. They never give you time to get hungry, these conference people! Each day there was breakfast, a morning snack, lunch, an afternoon snack, and dinner. All of it delicious.

Documenting my first math ed conference.

One highlight of the trip was getting to see two of my old roommates. Natalie lives in Durham with her law school-attending husband and two adorable children, and Carrie came out for the weekend.

Carrie, me, Natalie. (With Natalie's Ethan.)

A 392 reunion!! Super fun. Plus, Eric (Natalie's husband) put together fantabulous ice cream sundae fixin's: crushed oreos, butterfingers, brownies, chocolate syrup, bananas, etc. Mmmm-MMM.

I used to be pretty good at math, but I never got into that higher abstract stuff, and I love when Steven tells me about it. Over lunch yesterday he explained why there are bigger infinities than just the old regular infinity. Blew my mind.

You can read more on his blog.

Penny Lane

2009-02-24T11:29:00.006-05:00

Last night we tried to hit up the coin jar for laundry quarters. And though there weren't actually any quarters to be had (we must've looted it once before), we did find an old 1953 penny--still in not too shabby condition. Steven suggested we separate out one penny from each year going all the way back to 1953. So we went through penny by penny to sort them--keeping only the pretty ones when we could help it. (According to our sampling, by the way, 2006 must've been a big year for pennies.) But we didn't have any from 2008. Go figure. Now we're both on the lookout.

Someday I'm going to buy a roll of shiny brand new pennies. Right out of the mint--still hot. (Though we did go to the mint in PA last fall, specifically to SEE and BUY those bright shiny pennies, and the seeing part was awesome, but they didn't sell any rolls on the premises . . . Nor were you allowed to take pictures or get close enough to touch them . . .)

But wasn't it sweet of my husband to want to go? And who else would sort pennies with me until 12am?

Things that are green:

2009-02-17T16:32:00.026-05:00

The trim on these gorgeous baby booties I just sent to one of my best friends. (I found the pattern here.)

My eye(s).

On the day we got married the whole world was green
(in beautiful beautiful May).

Our friend Trevor.

JSF + punctuation

2009-02-11T11:42:00.015-05:00

My friend sent me a link to this, with a message attached: Jonathan Safran Foer + punctuation = Luci should read this.

Mmmm . . . cheese.

2009-02-09T11:40:00.007-05:00

For a snack at work today I'm having crackers and cheese. That's right, crackers and cheese.

I wish someone would ask me about it, too. 'Cause they'd say, "Crackers and cheese?" And I'd be like, "You bet your bottom, crackers and cheese. It's the ultimate."

A "real" housewife

2009-02-05T12:00:00.011-05:00

Yesterday I stayed home from work with a bad headache, and then decided to take the time to be productive anyway. (Plus, my husband said it would be good practice for when I take over all those household duties fer real.)

I . . .

-went to the bank and the post office.
-did three loads of laundry (going up and down 2 flights of stairs at least 6 times--plus 1 when I forgot the quarters).
-vacuumed, dusted, and organized the front room (it was in desperate need, let me tell you).
-took a lint brush to the couch.
-swept up yucky winter dirt from the foyer (really daunting task, too--the "foyer" is about a foot and a half squared).
-crocheted some.
-AND had a yummy noodle lunch (+ 1 tangerine).

All before my awesome provider husband came home at 3:30! (I even made HIM lunch--how domestic is that?)

Seriously, there are a TON more hours in the day when I don't have to spend 8 of them at an office. It was quite refreshing to do a bit of housework, actually, and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I got done. Though I'm sure in a few years--when we add children into the mix--that'll change. :)

"Do you know why it makes you move?"

2009-01-30T12:43:00.012-05:00

Last summer my husband's good friend introduced us to the music of Chris Merritt. I'll admit we've gotten a little obsessed, but seriously, it's just that good.

He has one song, Arizona, that makes me unaccountably sad---unaccountably because, as Steven says, it's actually a happy little tune. But it makes me sad the way Auld Lang Syne makes me sad (which is also not supposed to be a downer, I don't think). Maybe it's just the heavy intensity of life. The way things matter.

Other Chris Merritt favs: Be Found, Bleach, Tower of Sand.

Feb 17 update: My husband and I have since decided that it must be the nostalgic feeling these songs have. Such a wistful, weary feeling.

Snow Day!

2009-01-28T17:14:00.017-05:00

They sent us home early yesterday on account of "inclement weather" and my husband met me at the bus stop with a snowball.

We spent the rest of the afternoon sledding.

Action shot

Steven making the trek back up for another run.

Then we went to my parent's house for hot chocolate, dinner, and . . . can you guess? . . . Guitar Hero!! Seriously, my mom's pretty good. And my dad showed off all his Wii high scores. They're so hip.

50 degrees!!

2009-01-23T15:15:00.015-05:00

Today, for the first time in what seems a long while, I sat outside in the sunshine. Mmmmm---the sunshine. (Writing that sentence popped a song into my head. You know, that Age of Aquarius song: "Let the sunshine . . . Let the sunshine in . . . the sun . . ."---which, incidentally, always makes me think of the end of The Phantom Tollbooth cartoon. Rhyme and Reason have been set free and they float along restoring order to the land . . .)

The funny thing, though, is that despite all the warm sunshiny goodness outside, I had to wear my coat inside because our office was cold. So silly.